It's Not That Simple...

I am somehow enlighten by her words and believe that not all the problems that i am facing now,i have to solve them myself.I can just leave it to HIM but when i read the blog,i found that not all things are simple and that easy to resolve.I cant read other's mind and i cant guess wat they are thinking and wat they are up to.I really dunoe what is on their mind,i wanted to save this realtionship we had for the past 2 years but i dont think i have this ability now.

It is a trauma to me.No matter whether it is emotionally or physically.But others never know and perhaps they dont even bother at all.I am just a nobody,complete transparent in their eyes.Pastor Derrick once shared about the 4 points which destroy relationships (selfishness,pride,insecurity&resentment) and the anitdote for this 4 attitudes are (selflessness,humility,love&forgiveness).But if only one side know this and carry them into action is of no use.Problems have to be resolved by the 2 person so that it wont occur again.I know whateva i say here is of no use cos that person wouldnt read this entry anyway.Even if she read this post,the only answer or repond she have will probably be lols...who cares,i cant be bothered.This is the reaction the other time.

Why cant ppl grow and be more kind in their words.Afterall,i am hurt over and over again becos of words.It makes me more more fearful to words and speaking cos whateva and whenever i speak,everything is wrong,its a mistake and ppl dun even listen at all.They just cant be bothered about me.Perhaphs i am the one in fault cos others can communicate with her except for me.I cant communicate with anyone seriously.It's ok if u wanna block mi in msn and avoid all that u can.Perhaps,it is a time for us to reflect about our actions.If u think u have no fault then nvm...take all this as i am crapping and its a my fault for being petty and cant take those words.

I wanted so much to save this friendship
and I do treasure it so much so much
but she never gives us the chance to be well
and be good friends which have friendship that last.
My heavenly father,what have i done wrong to deserve all this treatment?
I search my heart in out for this answer...
Perhaps the key answer doesnt lies in my heart but in her heart?
Father continue to bless both parties and hopefully things get better than before soon.

-CIN-